The Father-Son Talks

More than one father has shared with me that they have used at least one of these passages from Proverbs in their ongoing conversations with their sons about sex. And depending upon the child’s maturity and awareness, they use the explicitness of various translations to their advantage.

Reality Check

In my opinion, far too many parents and churches are irrelevant in helping young people deal with sexual issues because teens have already made decisions about sexual situations (or are already engaged in sexual behavior) before the adults begin to discuss sexuality with them.

Remember to be age appropriate and open the lines of communication early. If you think your child is too young to be exposed to this topic, you are the only one. Even children as young as preschoolers are already being ‘educated’ and indoctrinated.

Proverbs 5:1 – 23

(New Century Version)

My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen to my words of understanding. Be careful to use good sense, and watch what you say. The words of another man’s wife may seem sweet as honey; they may be as smooth as olive oil. But in the end she will bring you sorrow, causing you pain like a two-edged sword. She is on the way to death; her steps are headed straight to the grave. She gives little thought to life. She doesn’t even know that her ways are wrong.

Now, my sons, listen to me, and don’t ignore what I say. Stay away from such a woman. Don’t even go near the door of her house, or you will give your riches to others, and the best years of your life will be given to someone cruel. Strangers will enjoy your wealth, and what you worked so hard for will go to someone else. You will groan at the end of your life when your health is gone.

Then you will say, “I hated being told what to do! I would not listen to correction! I would not listen to my teachers or pay attention to my instructors. I came close to being completely ruined in front of a whole group of people.”

Be faithful to your own wife, just as you drink water from your own well. Don’t pour your water in the streets; don’t give your love to just any woman. These things are yours alone and shouldn’t be shared with strangers. Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She gives you joy, as your fountain gives you water.

She is as lovely and graceful as a deer. Let her love always make you happy; let her love always hold you captive. My son, don’t be held captive by a woman who takes part in adultery. Don’t fondle a woman who is not your wife.

The Lord sees everything you do, and he watches where you go. An evil man will be caught in his wicked ways; the ropes of his sins will tie him up. He will die because he does not control himself, and he will be held captive by his foolishness.

Proverbs 6:25 – 30

(New Century Version)

My son, keep your father’s commands, and don’t forget your mother’s teaching. Keep their words in mind forever as though you had them tied around your neck. They will guide you when you walk. They will guard you when you sleep. They will speak to you when you are awake. These commands are like a lamp; this teaching is like a light. And the correction that comes from them will help you have life.

They will keep you from sinful women and from the pleasing words of another man’s unfaithful wife. Don’t desire her because she is beautiful. Don’t let her capture you by the way she looks at you. A prostitute will treat you like a loaf of bread, and a woman who takes part in adultery may cost you your life. You cannot carry hot coals against your chest without burning your clothes, and you cannot walk on hot coals without burning your feet. The same is true if you have sexual relations with another man’s wife. Anyone who does so will be punished.

People don’t hate a thief when he steals because he is hungry. But if he is caught, he must pay back seven times what he stole, and it may cost him everything he owns. A man who takes part in adultery has no sense; he will destroy himself. He will be beaten up and disgraced, and his shame will never go away. Jealousy makes a husband very angry, and he will have no pity when he gets revenge. He will accept no payment for the wrong; he will take no amount of money.

Proverbs 7:1 – 27

(New Century Version)

My son, remember what I say, and treasure my commands. Obey my commands, and you will live. Guard my teachings as you would your own eyes. Remind yourself of them; write them on your heart as if on a tablet. Treat wisdom as a sister, and make understanding your closest friend. Wisdom and understanding will keep you away from adultery, away from the unfaithful wife and her pleasing words.

Once while I was at the window of my house I looked out through the shutters and saw some foolish, young men. I noticed one of them had no wisdom. He was walking down the street near the corner on the road leading to her house. It was the twilight of the evening; the darkness of the night was just beginning. Then the woman approached him, dressed like a prostitute and planning to trick him. She was loud and stubborn and never stayed at home. She was always out in the streets or in the city squares, waiting around on the corners of the streets.

She grabbed him and kissed him. Without shame she said to him, “I made my fellowship offering and took some of the meat home. Today I have kept my special promises. So I have come out to meet you; I have been looking for you and have found you. I have covered my bed with colored sheets from Egypt. I have made my bed smell sweet with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let’s make love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s love. My husband is not home; he has gone on a long trip. He took a lot of money with him and won’t be home for weeks.”

By her clever words she made him give in; by her pleasing words she led him into doing wrong. All at once he followed her, like an ox led to the butcher, like a deer caught in a trap and shot through the liver with an arrow. Like a bird caught in a trap, he didn’t know what he did would kill him.

Now, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Don’t let yourself be tricked by such a woman; don’t go where she leads you. She has ruined many good men, and many have died because of her. Her house is on the road to death, the road that leads down to the grave.

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