Can I Ever Marry?

Question:

“I am a baptized teenager who lost my virginity to a young lady who convinced me she could not go on without sex between us. She has since ended our relationship and will not even listen to me concerning the faith. Will I ever be able to marry someone with God’s approval? I have repented and asked God to forgive me. Must I remain single all my life?”

Answer:

It is true that God intends sex to be enjoyed within marriage. . .

“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband”

– I Corinthians 7:2, 3 (English Standard Version)

It is clear that Christians are to behave differently from the world in our sexual conduct. . .

“God wants you to be holy and to stay away from sexual sins. He wants each of you to learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable. Don’t use your body for sexual sin like the people who do not know God”

– I Thessalonians 4:3 – 5 (New Century Version)

But nowhere in the Scripture does God say that having sex with someone means you are married to him or her. Although sex belongs in marriage, having sex outside of marriage does not mean you have committed some sort of unforgivable sin. The only reason a man cannot marry is if he is married to someone already.

The apostle Paul says, “For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress” – Romans 7:2, 3 (English Standard Version).

The only thing that would keep you from marrying and having God’s approval for that marriage is if you are already married. Since you are not married and have never been married, your past sexual sin does not keep you from marrying and enjoying a healthy, married life.

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4 comments on “Can I Ever Marry?

  1. Excellent answer. To add to your point, remember that some of the Corinthians were once adulterers, fornicators, and homosexuals (1 Cor. 6:9-11). “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned” (1 Cor. 7:27-28, ESV).

    • Thanks Scott for your additional thoughts. Sexual ethics and morality was one of the major issues the early church had to address. Among the many things the Holy Spirit taught the Corinthian church (and us) was the relationship between sanctification, spirituality and sexuality. We all need to understand we can’t fully control ourselves sexually or fully enjoy sex the way it should be experienced unless Christ, God and the Holy Spirit have their proper places in our lives.

      Are enough Christians asserting God’s truth about these matters (including marriage) and demonstrating personal sexual integrity in their own lives? As evidenced by their extensive teachings recorded in the New Testament, the apostles and early Christians certainly didn’t shy away from the subject.

  2. Pingback: What Is Fornication? | Refresh My Heart In Christ

  3. Pingback: Espoused, Engaged or Married? | Refresh My Heart In Christ

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