Must Wife Be In Subjection?

Must Wife Be In Subjection? Bible Question.


“What must a wife do to be in subjection to her husband? Must she have permission from him to plant flowers, go to the grocery store, etc. Must she get his permission to spend her social security money (which she earned before she married him)? This may seem strange, but it is real to me. To what extent must one go to be in subjection?”


The passage of Scripture that deals directly with this subject is Ephesians 5:21 – 25 . . .

and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (New American Standard Bible)

Note that the wife is to be subject to her husband as the church is subject to Christ. But note that husbands and wives are to “be subject to one another in the fear of Christ”. The Lord never authorized husbands to be dictators over the lives of their wives! There is to be mutual love, mutual respect, mutual consideration and there is also to be mutual subjection.

The husband is the head of the wife, but only because he loves his wife just as Christ does the church. When a husband loves his wife as he loves his own body (Ephesians 5:28), it will be easy for the wife to submit to his leadership!

To what extent a wife must go in submitting to her husband is something that must be worked out between the two of them. But neither should insist on “rules” for the other to which they do not submit for themselves! When either the husband or the wife acts arbitrarily, ignoring the needs and desires of the other, that marriage is in trouble.

I believe if a man demands that he controls the social security money which a wife has earned before their marriage, there is something really cockeyed about his concept of what “love” and “subjection” mean! Neither the husband nor wife should insist on his or her spouse “clearing” every little thing before acting. The husband who makes such demands as are listed in the question can expect a miserable marriage!



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