What To Do When Your Parents Say “No” (Ephesians 6:1 – 3)

What To Do When Your Parents Say “No” (Ephesians 6:1 – 3). Bible Lesson. Teen Bible Lesson.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” – Ephesians 6:1 – 3 (New American Standard Bible)

Introductory Questions:

1. How do “honor” and “obey” differ in meaning?

2. What does it mean to obey your parents “in the Lord”?

3. How long should a person keep honoring his or her parents? How does this question apply to a child? A teen? A young married person? A middle-aged person?


Parents Are People Too

As a Christian and as a son or daughter, you’re expected to honor your father and mother. But how can you when they just don’t seem to understand?

1. Find out what works and what doesn’t work. Arguing and throwing a temper tantrum is a poor way to build a trusting relationship with your parents. You might accomplish a short-term goal if they give in. Yet the Bible commands you to honor your parents. Parents will usually treat you with respect if you earn it.

2. Many kids secretly rebel against their parents’ wishes. Planning to do behind their backs what your parents have already objected to is deceitful. You wouldn’t trust someone who talked about you behind your back, but in essence, this is what you expect your parents to do if you secretly rebel.

3. Unconditional acceptance of parental standards might seem like the most obvious way to “honor” your parents, but it may not be. Parents are people. They make mistakes. Learning from mistakes helps everyone grow spiritually. Your parents might never learn to trust you if they never allow you to venture out on your own. So don’t be afraid to occasionally ask them to reconsider a decision.


Timing Is Everything

1. Choosing a time when your parents have a minute to discuss the matter – not when they’re stressed out or not after a rough day. Be considerate of their needs as well as your own.

2. When you’re ready to talk, try not to put them on the defensive. Let them know you respect their judgment, but you feel more discussion might be in order.

3. Then present your facts. Make sure you’re honest and direct with your parents. Give them a chance to explain their concerns with you. This builds trust and respect between you and your parents.

4. Really listen. You might discover your parents were justified in their decision. They could surprise you with how well they understand your situation. Or they might reveal an incident from their past that would help you understand their reactions.

5. Discuss the problem honestly and intelligently. Allow your parents to come to a final conclusion. Whatever the decision, stick to it. Otherwise, your parents may not trust you the next time.


Related Articles (links) on this blog:

Instructions for Christian Fathers (parents)

Family Expectations: Case Studies for Young People (3 part series)

Quick List: Six Principles for Interpersonal Communication

It’s Your Decision: Anger Prevention and Conflict Resolution



Full-Time Trust

Full-Time Trust – Bible Lesson. Teen Bible Lesson.

It’s easy to trust God on Sunday during worship services.  It’s Monday through Saturday that’s the problem for most people. How can you trust God all the time, no matter what is going on in your life? Notice Luke 23:46 and Colossians 3:15 – 4:6 for some answers. Both Scripture references are taken from the New International Version.

Christ’s Confidence: Luke 23:46

“Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ When he had said this, he breathed his last.”


A Christian’s Confidence: Colossians 3:15 – 4:6

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

21 Fathers,do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.


1. Describe the tone or mood of Colossians 3:15 – 17.

2. Why is thankfulness such a key ingredient in a Christian’s life?

3. What do these verses say about roles and attitudes in a Christian marriage?

4. Look at verses 20, 21. What does this say about God’s design for parent-child relationships?

5. Now read Colossians 3:22 – 4:1. Let’s assume Paul’s instructions can apply to employees and employers today. What does he say our attitude should be toward work? Our employers? Our employees? Why?

Paul wasn’t living in some ideal world when he wrote these instructions. He knew life wasn’t always fair or just the way he wanted. He chose to trust God no matter what was going on in his life.

6. Suppose your life is rotten right now. Why can you, as a child of God, still follow these instructions? Consider Colossians 3:17, 23 – 25 and Colossians 4:5, 6.


What Is “Obeying the Gospel”?


“The Bible speaks of obeying the gospel. When someone asks you, ‘What is the gospel?’ how do you answer?”


The word “gospel” is from a Greek word that literally means, “good news” or “glad tidings.” But as it is used in the Scriptures, it includes more than “news” or information. Things to be believed, commands to be obeyed and promises to be received are all included in the gospel of Christ. When one hears the gospel, he is led to faith in Christ as the Author. As a result, one is led to faith in Jesus as the Christ, the Son of God. When one has faith in Christ, he is then led to do what the Lord Jesus teaches. That is what “obeying the gospel” means. All of this is in anticipation of receiving the promises of the gospel.

Let me illustrate with a passage of Scripture. People on Pentecost heard the preaching of the gospel. . .

“Therefore let all the house of Israel know for certain that God has made Him both Lord and Christ—this Jesus whom you crucified.” Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brethren, what shall we do?” Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to Himself”

(Acts 2:36 – 39).

In this passage you have facts to be believed, commands to be obeyed and promises to be received. That is why the apostle Paul writes that when Jesus returns, it will be with “His mighty angels in flaming fire, dealing out retribution to those who do not know God and to those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus” (2 Thessalonians 1:7, 8). In other words, to “obey the gospel” simply means to trust the Lord Jesus enough to do what He says.